Dateline early January 2015

“But whoever earns an offense or a sin and then blames it on an innocent [person] has taken upon himself a slander and manifest sin.”

Surat An-Nisa’ 4:112

“Have you killed an innocent person who had killed none? Verily, you have committed a thing “Nukra” (a great Munkar – prohibited, evil, dreadful thing)!”

Surat Al-Kahf 18:74

In the late morning, Paris time, Gunfire broke out in the offices of Charlie Hebdo. Two armed attackers had killed so many people inside while claiming to have avenged the Prophet Mohammed in this act. In the past, this satirical magazine had poked fun at the Prophet and at Islam. The ongoing further events need not concern us here. Who and why are not for us to judge.  We have in two short sentences enough information to reach our goal of a better understanding of Islam and the enemies of God, Allah and the Prophet Mohammed. First, let us assume that the editors had in fact insulted the Prophet and thus was deserving of punishment. Allah is a just God but he is patient and it is his right to reward his followers as well to punish the wicked. It is for him and him alone, when to exact his just punishment from them for their wickedness. So then with their untimely death at the hand of the gunmen, they became the victim. Allah being just cannot punish the innocent, as he would like, Allah is a just God, thus he must offer them succour for their wickedness done onto them. Thus instead of the punishment they had earned with their cartoons, he would have to offer them comfort for having been unjustly murdered. Thus Allah, has had his will thwarted and his justice denied by those gunmen.

Who then could have dared do this to Allah? While in Paris, CSI comb for every clue, picking up all evidence, Allah is all knowing. He knew who has committed this wickedness. He knows why they have done so, for he knows all that is in their heart.  They were not trying to be the true followers of Allah. They were usurping the right of this jealous God to punish the wickedness of men with divine justice. Not mortal vengeance, but absolute eternal justice, that only Allah can meet out.

As such, those two misguided fools have cast themselves into the burning fires of hell. They have not served Allah; they have taken upon themselves to meet out the divine justice of Allah as if this God was not a God but a mere name, a word, a boogie man to scare little children with. So who is the disbeliever deserving of punishment? Who are the innocent, cut down before it was Allah’s will to do so?

In the Holy Book of the Jews, Christians and Muslims, they tell a story of Abraham and his son Isaac. The Jews and Christians say that Abraham was ordered by God to take his son and kill him for God. The age of the child is never mentioned from that of a baby to an adult male, while it is easy to kill a baby in diaper, the obedience to God is better seen if he, the son, is a man. As Abraham drove the blade at the chest of the son, the angel of the Lord stopped him and saved the child’s life. The Qur’an says this is a wicked deed and the dream telling Abraham to kill his son was sent by the devil to trick him. This is why the angel of the lord had to stop him.

The next time, a true follower of Allah is told to kill anyone in the name of Allah for some crime against Allah, remember this story of Charlie Hebdo, and the Qur’an. For in them you will have your answer. It was wicked to kill those people. It is wicked to take the place of Allah. And by doing this wickedness, you are taking upon yourself the sin of others and must pay for their crimes with your eternal life.

In Baghdad, Iraq, in order to fool security forces, two retarded children, aged 11 and 13, were kidnapped and put in a car bomb. No one would ever think to look in such a car with two very innocent little girls in it. As the driver fled on foot, the bomb exploded killing many in the market place including those intellectually challenged little girls. When faced with such a thing, can we all agree, Jew, Christine and Muslim, that this is an evil act? For if we cannot, then this world is already in a hell, no God would be cruel enough to make themselves.

A Sadomasochism abusive relationship where a bully tortures the submissive in a constant stream of physical suffering, belittling their intelligence, ability and any source of pride they may have ever had, but enough of CBC’s programming cutbacks, I am here to talk about the Jian Ghomeshi being fired from the same CBC. When I first heard of he was on a break from his job, I was puzzled. First, I had to remember who he was, then to care a fig about his show, his programming or CBC. But then he was fired and while I was almost moved to care, almost. It turned out to be gas. But then, then! Jian posted his misses defending himself because he was fired for having sex. Which considering the prudish, puritanical behaviour of that corporation made so much more sense. Except, I still did not give a fig, fart or fluff. Even noted Green party Commandant Elizabeth May chimed in to support him. Could someone, anyone else have cared? With the sole exception of ex-Green Party deputy leader Georges Laraque whose very serious legal troubles actually registered on the who cares scale above both May and Ghomeshi for the briefest of seconds. This would be including his entire NHL hockey career such as it was. The whole drama it seems to me, aside from being purely Canadian and purely boring, was that anyone having sex at the CBC was to be fired. For the first clause of their contract to work there, is that anyone thinking of having fun was to be sufficient grounds for termination. Noting that they in fact had stolen the line from Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary about Puritans “The haunting feeling that someone, somewhere, might be happy.”

But then a miracle occurred. When the dark puritanical empire strikes back and release the kind of sex Ghomeshi was having. Not simply into spanking and light D&D. No this was outright brutality. Punches in faces were a turn on? Oh, ok then… Nothing even remotely hot about that. Or interesting. But the door was opened. And a producer was fast to tell her tale of how when she yawned in Ghomeshi’s meeting once, rude much? He said some crudity that hurt her feelings. She alleged that he wanted to “hate f–k” her to wake her up,” she says. I merely thought she had misheard being half asleep that would “Hate like f–k for her to wake up. Either or does not amount to much. I remember once, where a vice president in serious need of anger management lost it in a meeting and when on a yelling rant for 20 minutes. When he was done, he, himself, realised just how badly he had lost it and checked himself into anger management classes. (Come to think of it, he works at the CBC now. No sex please but screaming is allowed. Or is it?)Linden MacIntyre claims that being a bully is the norm at CBC indicating both Peter Mansbridge, CBC new anchor and the late Peter Gzowski are and were also bullies. As if being the final word was being a bully. It was their name on the show, so toughen up already.
The last note sounded in the sadly Canadian story of silliness when Toronto police arrested Ghomeshi for various criminal offences. And at least, it seemed that this story was indeed real. It was no longer merely the stuff of late night talk show host comedies. It had left from being the joke after Rob Ford to now being a legitimate news story and a criminal prosecution. Except for the massive media coverage. The mere fact, this was about sex and a legitimate Canadian superstar albeit on CBC and the media went all a flutter. Not nearly as much as Ford’s own media circus but this was a legitimate news story no longer fit for the tabloids but real journalist could report on it now. Oh wait, after all this, I still don’t care, So much to do about nothing
To be sure, criminal behaviour is illegal, Sexual assault should be reported to police immediately and being a jerk seems to be the norm at CBC along with its Puritanical over moralistic better than thou Goody Prynne behaviour. All of which is nothing new or even remotely interesting. Except in Canada, where the news media starved for anything to ever report is forced to report this as hard news. When at best fit only for the back pages of some low down, back alley scandal rag.

Update March 24, 2016: Jian was found not guilty on all criminal charges.