Thesis evaluation consist of an oral defense that is usually open to the public, this can has caused more than a few problems. Here are some of the worst nightmares that can happen. All are true stories. Here are my top five worst Thesis defense ever!

The first story was told to me by a professor as she was then a student. She wrote her PHD thesis in a year and submitted it to her adviser. The advisor read it and invited her to a nice restaurant for supper and then broke the news. “I am afraid this simply won’t do.” One year of work, flushed. So she went back to the writing table and rewrote it anew.

Another student when told took the opposite road and demanded a hearing of the full thesis defense board as is allowed by university thesis rules. They followed procedure to the letter. When the vote was cast, the student lost by a vote of five to zero. They failed him. And that failed him out of the program. So no Masters as a door prize as he left either.

A female student went to her defence where she had misquoted someone in her text; a very minor error that we all do. But most are caught in time before the defence. In her case, the problem was not the tiny error, it was the readers. Her advisor was hated in the department so they had one outside reader to be impartial and one reader who hated him. Well over this tiny error, the two started to go at each other. The chair asked the audience to leave. Whereas inside the shouting and screaming could be heard across the library as it went on for hours. Thirty minutes for her defence, and three hours of screaming. Degree earned, vote two to one.

When making enemies, do not piss off the vindictive graduate chair when planning to do your thesis defense, for there may be repercussions you have not considered. He first scheduled her defense in the schools largest auditorium, and then proceeded to order all the first year undergrads to attend this mandatory event. Then made sure a sign-in sheet was passed around. Normally you defend in a class room with a few people at most 20-30 people. She had to defend her thesis in front of 500 students who resented her taking up their free time. Talk about hostile environment.

Perhaps the worst thesis defense occurred for an international student who lived in Saudi Arabia. For some unknown reason she had to defend her thesis online and an Islamic religious policeman was to be in the same room as her. Now English was her second language so she struggled with it. The police officer spoke no English, requiring her to stop and explain to him in Arabic. If he got bored or if she took too long in her answer he would interrupt her. What should have been over and done within an hour at most went over near three hours. Where at one point he got up and almost smacked her. Only later would we find out what he was saying to her in the midst of her thesis defense. “Why are you doing this? You are just a stupid girl, you should not be talking to these men, you be fucking your husband so stop whoring yourself out to sound smart then you are stupid girl.” She passed 5 to zero.

Bonus, a thesis on Foucault went seriously off the rails when the professor began to talk of this philosopher’s sexual preferences, using non academic terms like “Fist fucking.” He went off topic and spoke on that subject for near an hour before the chair could take over and call an end to the session.