On Sunday, I went to my sister’s house to have a birthday party with her daughter, my niece. Who turned all of three. I bought her a pink teddy bear cause all pretty girls should have one. I hugged my sister goodbye and left! We even planned to come back in three weeks for a nephew’s birthday too!
Last night, my sister, all of 35 years old, 4 kids, three boys and the aforementioned little girl of three, went to the bathroom to do her nails. I suspect it was more of a break and a “me” moment. She never came out. When she was in a long time they went to discover her body. She had died. Cause unknown but an autopsy is planned. I found out today, the thought that went through my head? Thank God I hugged her on Sunday so she knew she was loved.
When she was born, my father’s first child outside of my group of 4 brothers. We, as one, turned our backs and said we would have nothing to do with her. My mother, our mother, called a family meeting to quell the rebellion. Basically reading the riot act to us all. Just because father was a total @$$hole did not mean that little girl was any less deserving of having 4 older brothers. It was not her fault who her father was anymore then it was ours. Thus from that meeting, our sister inherited four older brothers. Mom got a bouquet of flowers from another grateful mother of said little sister.
We lost one brother to cancer along the way but she always had her big brothers even if Johny forced her to watch “GI JOE” instead of “My Little Pony.” (He made up for it on Sunday by buying her daughter a DVD copy of the cartoon to watch!) Even if I might have dropped her once or twice. She still came to be picked up, because that what little girls do when they see their big brothers. Big brothers are not supposed to bury their little sisters. I think they need to make that into a rule.
I don’t know what is going to happen to those four kids. They are so very young, from 9 years old to just turned 3. How is that little princess going to grow up without her mom to show her the ropes and help her learn all the things she needs to learn? Will they even remember her in the passage of years?
I don’t have any answers, just questions. I doubt that there are any answers to these questions and so many more that spring to mind. Just too numb with shock to say more than: “I don’t know, I don’t know.”
She was 35. She was my sister. Rest in Peace. I will never drop you again. But I will promise one thing, your daughter may not remember you in the years to come but she will hear tell of how much she was loved by her mother. Because I am going to tell her every single time I see her and her brothers. In the years to come, they will remember that if nothing else. I promise little sister, I promise.
Rest in Peace